an introduction to the love epochal

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my poetry is about process, as much as it is a poem. i think of the love epochal as one long poem that i hope will never end. maybe someone can pick it up from me at some point. pass on the responsibility until the robots replace us.

it is just a series of random poetic thoughts i have. or overhear. a lot of business jargon finds its way in. little bits of gossip about random people. lots of thoughts in the bath about philosophy. but ultimately it’s a sort of diary of the life a fictional, autistic poet who is trying to approach the world with unconditional love but can’t help hating fascists while also being busy and overwhelmed generally by the day to day experience of life.

i edit the poem and post it pretty much one year to the day after each bit was written. the editing is a dialectical struggle between coherence and adherence to the linearity of thought. at first, i just put it more or less in the order it was written and just edited for rhythm and rhyme.

after performing a few times, i started aiming more for coherence, re-ordering to try and link the thoughts into a series of almost self contained little poems. but you can’t herd poets so generally i fluctuate between these two poles never fully committing either way. perhaps to the project’s detriment. who knows. i’m just an artist. i don’t have to make sense.

i also write little blog posts inspired by the day’s poetry. and i sometimes make spoken word versions of bits from the poem, and videos, and these things can be found on spotify, youtube, apple music, all those things. and that’s what the love epochal is.

marathon training

slow pegs toe the towpath
peel back the algae film
under the dull mist sky
stop to pee
like six times at least
empty both bladders
very stiff, very type two
until the high kicks in
ten miles in
listening
to weyes blood sing
oh god turn me
into a flower
put me in
a wee clay pot
somewhere with nice light
not too hot

this must have been near the start of the marathon training. for i am once again, near the start of the marathon training. my longest run since the marathon is 24km and i’ll be pushing it up to 27 in a few weeks. i think i’ll hold at 30 for a while. i did lots of very long runs last time so maybe i’ll do more runs but less long.

you go through a lot on a long run. listen to lots of music. tune out for a bit. then a song might grab you. maybe cry a bit, running about crying in tiny little shorts and a vest. this is just who i am.

thinking about being a poet while getting an m.o.t.

my byline is a shyline
to project my insecurity
protect my anonymity
objectify my vanity
the car passed its m.o.t.
three minors, one of which
will strand me
unprepared on
a lane in the country
but that’s not for a while yet…

it still hasn’t happened yet, the stranding, but it’s a matter of time. the car got through its m.o.t. again this year. it picked up a dent somehow though.

first class travel problems

on a tired day i can’t will myself a timetable
halfway to barrow
my heart a furnace
then pressed on from preston
the train’s delayed
and so is my wellness
for a few hours
because after work there’s a sauna
and free champagne
which reminds me. my new mantra:
never drink fizz in transit
it won’t be frigid and the bubbles will die

if i have to travel for work i at least want to go first class. i don’t like to fly if i can avoid it. but i find travel very stressful. especially if i’m on my own. i don’t have much wherewithal of sense of direction. but anyway, take it from me, on the train drink ipa, champagne is wasted. i think it’s ok on a plane though. weirdly.

another p.b.

nearly bail on the great scot’s ten
but i’m literally trapped in the atrium
and it only takes thirty eight minutes
so i may as well run
then the button on my trousers popped off
and fell into the toilet bowl
i suppose
life is precious and unpredictable

i have entered the great scots run each of the last three years. i got two pbs in the half and a pb in the 10. i can’t be bothered running it again this year. maybe i’ll get more into cycling. oh yeah i already signed up for another marathon. oh well, maybe next year.

new season new look

a moneypiece redux
this one’s light
confirm and further
comes storm amy
on her birthday weekend
the train’s cancelled
so i’m sober and driving
and i watch her get
a birthday piercing
a trivial salesman
sells us wax jackets
though we buy them
somewhere else
cheaper
from a scoundrel
shame swelling around the cheeks
‘enjoy that jacket!’
the trivial salesman
encouraged me
and i felt bad
for going behind his back
until
i find out he was a liar
its a serviceable jacket
anyway
anyway

its the perfect time to buy a new rain jacket. well actually it is the most expensive time, but if you didn’t buy one in the spring sales, your hand may be forced. luckily my love and i bought new rain jackets last year and they are still waterproof. a big vote for wax jackets from me. despite the salesman, if not lying, clearly implying something that wasn’t true. anyway. it doesn’t matter. i’m over it. anyway.

4000 weeks

asleep we are equal
toss and turn
before another sequel
one of only
four thousand weekfulls
some may work exposed to weather
whether lucky others’
weeks are peaceful
the labouring class
the majority of us
we all must
sudo apt-get out of bed,
by dint of caffeine
best be wakeful
de-enforcements comin’ in
to the office
try and stop us
half a day every fortnight or so
certainly satisfies my appetite

i just did my day in the office for the month. i do like that the office is proximate to many shops. and there is a gym next door so that’s quite useful. but then at the office i alternate between working hard at my desk and taking calls in a little phone booth thing. no advantage whatever over being at home. i guess it would be different if i worked as a road surfacer though.

the work of winter comes

unable to execute
a victim of to do lists
on a run
i stop to pee
and see a baby deer
a radical idea
why count debt
and gdp
why not just
make the world
a nice place to be?
maybe happy people
will be more productive
and maybe tidying up
will be stimulating
all by itself
in sickness and in health
turn it up this is techno

this is the trilogy of four to the floor
the future before us
has been foretold
hand pumps gave us feudalism
we got capital from coal
techno determines
the rate of profit will fall

thank you for joining me for another month of the love epochal. and what a month it was. my dad turned 80 and went on holiday. i bought a wardrobe. we all enjoyed some poetry. join me back here again next month for… more of the same. except completely different. but basically the same.

more unicorns

scotland is an idea
so are equality, pride,
race and health
which ideas are important to you?
love, fairness, justice…
or sticking it to your neighbour?
and now the poem’s
getting me down
dragging up more
sore memories
within me soar
i email my old therapist
hoping for absolution

i think if humanity is going to succeed and live for another thousand years, we need to abolish the nation state. we must remember that a country is just an idea that we have stuck to a temporary land mass. and our land mass may well collide with north america in 250 million years. at which point it is likely nobody will remember anything about scotland. or north america.

echolalia part vi

toot and come on
for tutankhamen at the overflow
car parking
guy with 20 mini
sausage rolls
and a clockwise
tube of pringles
(review for risk and quality)
wearing the same trainers as me
says he works in sails
and other marine
accessories and spares
on the tube
(train tube)
(tube of pringles
on the clockwise
tube train)

this sounds like nonsense poetry but it all actually happened to me. speaking of which, my proudest achievement was the time i won british bulldogs at the youth club. i would have been 9 or 10. i managed to run twice past all the other boys. i didn’t even take the breather between runs that i was allowed per the usual rules. although i did jump on the chairs at the side of the hall the second time.

i didn’t rest and tried a third pass, but was finally captured by my peers.

vaccine state of mind

on the radio they say
it’s demonstrable,
linking autism
and paracetamol
this is what victory feels like
empty
the struggle is eternal
watch american adverts,
feel lobotomised
side effects include diarrhoea
dandruff and instant death

note that i’m not saying for a second that the very stable genius is a child abuser. he seems to have known lots of them though. and he has been known to enjoy being surrounded by young girls – at his child beauty pageants for example, disturbing as a concept without the need to dwell on any details.